Essay #8

David

Mr. Salsich

Pine Point School

8th grade English

Loneliness

An Essay About Dill Being Lonely In To Kill A Mockingbird

           
             Most people are social and like to be with their friends and family because they have fun with their friends and have memorable times with their family. Although people like to be alone at times, no one likes to be lonely. Lonely people feel desolate and left out. Loneliness is pointless because you can take the initiative join others as Dill did when her /ran away from home in To Kill a Mockingbird.
            (TS) Being lonesome is something nobody should experience. (SD)  In To Kill A Mockingbird,
Dill, cracked under pressure and ran away from home. (CM) Although his parents loved him and bought him things, Dill escaped from home because his parents, "didn't seem to need him." (CM) Dill tells Scout that his parents spend lots of time together but not much time with him, "they just wasn't interested in me." (SD) Running away must have been a tough choice for Dill to make, but going to a place like the Finch's house, where he is treated like part of the family, makes him feel much better. (CM) When Dill sees that his parents spend no time with him, it makes him feel like he isn't needed. (CM) In contrast, Dill feels satisfied when he is in Maycomb with Scout and Jem. (CS) When compared to the way Atticus treats Jem and Scout, Dill's parents don't treat him with value the way he deserves to be treated.
            (TS) To me loneliness is pointless. (SD) In life, you must look at the bright side of things, not the dark side. (CM) The only reason why most people become forlorn is because they are being negative towards themselves. (CM) Most humans think of the bad times, but never emphasize on the good. (SD) Being lonely for me has never been a problem, but I have seen people that are lonely. (CM) For example, my sister, Catharine was lonely once because she couldn’t go over her friends house like all her other friends. (CM) She felt left out. This feeling is one reason many people become lonely or depressed. (CS) Loneliness can be avoided in so many ways if everyone was included in everything and treated equally.
             Being alone does not always mean your lonely. People can chose to be alone or chose to be with others, as Dill did. As Mark Twain said, "The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself."

Essay #8
David
Mr. Salsich
Pine Point School
8th grade English


                                                                          Loneliness
                              An Essay About Dill Being Lonely In To Kill A Mockingbird

   
                 (TS) Being lonesome is something nobody should experience. (SD)  In To Kill A

Mockingbird, Dill, cracked under pressure and ran away from home. (CM) One reason Dill ran away

from home is because of his parents. (CM) Dills parents spend lots time together but not much time with

him. (SD) Running away must have been a tough thing for Dill to do, but going to a place like the

Finches house, where he is treated like part of the family, makes him feel much better. (CM) When Dill

 sees his parents spend no time with him it makes him feel like he isn't needed by his parents. (CM) This

encourages Dill to dislike his parents even more than he does now. (CS) Dill's parents don't treat him

with value the way he deserves to be treated.

Graphic organizer Essay #8 (sorry for the colors)

Main Point or Thesis of Essay: Why is Dill lonely

Bell word: Lonely

Paragraph 1 -- Opening

Hook: Just like lots of kids try to run away Dill did the same thing

Comment on the hook: I tried to run away when I was a kid

Thesis: Dill sneaked away because he was lonely

Paragraph 2

TS : Dill runs away from home

2 Echo words to be used : 

SD: He likes the Finches

CM : Doesn't like his parents

CM : Parents say they don't need him

          SD :

Parents ignore him

CM : Treat him fine but don't spend time with him

CM : Feel left out because other family's pay attention to their kids

Paragraph 3

TS: Loneliness happening in my lifetime

2 Echo words to be used  

SD : How I haven't felt loneliness much

CM :The few times I did I was very upset

CM : Had to be the bigger person and ignore the reason that i was being lonely

          SD : Have to find a way to not stay lonely in life

CM : If you are lonely all your life you won't have as much fun

CM : Be happy and don't think negative, make good friends

Paragraph 4

Hook (the same as paragraph 1, or different)

Echo word (could be bell word) Deserted

Comment on the hook : Dill deserted his parents because his parents deserted him

Re-statement, in slightly different words, of the thesis

Essay #7

David

Essay #7

Mr. Salsich

Pine Point School

Growing Up

An Essay on Life Growing Up

            Growing up for me took place on Montauk Avenue in Stonington Connecticut. I had lots of fun growing up but I was serious when I needed to be. Having a barn and big field across the street from my house really intrigued me to spend lots of time there riding my dirt bike and having fun. Although I had a blast riding my dirt bike there was always time for work with my dad at Garbo Lobster.

            Slowly becoming an adult should be something that you cherish for your whole life, something that you will never forget. Having moments that I learn from, moments that I keep stored in my heart are extremely important to me as I grow up. “Strive to learn as much as possible” is something my dad once said to me, “Learn from your mistakes.” For example, don’t worry so much about that one bad grade you got, work harder and learn from it. In To Kill A Mockingbird I think that Atticus needed to teach Jem and Scout all of the things that he knew, such as shooting a rifle. Shooting isn’t a life skill that you need to know but I think that Atticus should have taught them how to shoot instead of their uncle. Maybe this means Atticus is too strict. Growing up is important, and you will remember it for the rest of your life that's why you should make the best of it while you can. The moments with your friends, the most enjoyable times in your life are parts of your childhood. That's why childhood is an extremely important time in your life.

            It doesn't matter where you grow up or who you grow up with, your childhood is something you will 

always remember. You will remember the bad times, but you will also remember the good, and when you 

eventually become an adult you will have some great stories to tell. Maybe to even tell your own kids during 

their own childhood.

Essay Graphic Organizer.

Paragraph 1

Main Point or Thesis of essay: How I grew up, Where: In Stonington. How: Had lots of fun when it was necessary and was serious when I needed to be.

Paragraph 2

Topic sentence: About how growing up should be something to remember.

Supporting Detail: Have moments that you will keep with you, moments that you learn from

Commentary: Strive to learn as much as possible.

Commentary: Be relaxed, don’t worry so much about that one bad grade you got in school

Supporting Detail: My thoughts about the children growing up in TKAM

Commentary: Something I think is wrong about how the children are growing up in TKAM. Such as father not teaching the kids how to shoot.

Commentary: Is Atticus too strict or not.

            Supporting Detail: Does growing up effect the rest of your life

            Commentary: Explain exactly why. Yes it does, because you will always remember your childhood.

            Commentary: Always reflect back to your childhood.

Paragraph 3

Comment on the main point or thesis. 

David

Paragraph 1, Essay 6

Mr. Salsich – English

Surprised Atticus Could Shoot Essay

A Paragraph About the Children Being Surprised in To Kill A Mockingbird

           

           Everyone has a different opinion on expressing your talents. For example, Atticus is amazing with a rifle but doesn’t want to tell anyone. I believe you shouldn’t be cocky but always be proud of yourself.

             (TS) So many people have hidden talents that you have no clue about. (SD) Atticus surprises Scout and Jem when he shot the dog, Tim Johnson, in one shot because they had never seen him shoot before. (CM) The children thought that, " Atticus was different from other fathers, and all he did was read" because that's all they saw him ever do", and he wouldn't teach them how to shoot. (CM) Most fathers in the neighborhood fished and hunted, but not Atticus. That's why the kids were astonished to see Atticus shoot. (SD) Miss, Maudie drops the bombshell when she said, " I saw that One-Shot Finch", and as a result Jem and Scout learn that Atticus does more than just read.  (CM) Jem was tongue tied," and sat in numb confusion" while Miss Maudie told the children about Atticus's past experiences with shooting. (CM) They were astonished to hear that he was the best marksmen in Maycomb when he was growing up. (CS) This is why you never judge people by their looks, they might be more impressive than you think. 
            (TS) Growing up one of the only things I thought my dad could do was work. (SD) As a kid my dad told me he had always had a horse. (CM) During his childhood one of the first video recorders was just invented. (CM) When I saw a video on the computer of him riding around on a horse I was blown away. (SD) When my dad was growing up he didn’t have enough money to take horseback riding lessons. (CM) He told me he learned by trial and error. (CM) My dad definitely wasn’t the kind of person to ride a horse, but he told me he had a lot of fun doing it. 
           Atticus is definitely humble about his skill with a rifle. Maybe there is a reason why Atticus doesn’t want anyone to know about his skill. When the kids found out about his skill, they were definitely astonished.

Outline for 4-Paragraph Essay

                Main Point or Thesis of Essay

Atticus has so many talents but doesn't tell anyone about them

        Bell word 

Surprise, Shock, Bombshell

Paragraph 1 -- Opening

        Hook: Express you talents

                Comment on the hook : Atticus is so talented but doesn't share with anyone

                Comment on the hook : Don't be cocky but always be proud.

Thesis  (with bell word): Astonished

Paragraph 2

TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis): Surprised that he could shoot

2 Echo words to be used: surprised, bombshell

SD: was much different from other fathers

                CM: Wouldn't teach the kids to shoot

                        CM: All he did was read

SD: Astonished he was the best at shooting

        CM: Kids thought there was something wrong with the dog

                CM: Shot the dog first shot

Paragraph 3

        TS (Main Idea, Topic, or Thesis): Blown away when i found out my dad could ride a horse.

2 Echo words to be used: Bombshell, Blown away

SD: Didn't know dad could ride a horse

                CM: How did he learn

                        CM: Wasn't the kind of person to ride a horse.

SD: Why did he get a horse

        CM: How long did he have it

                CM: Did he ride it a lot

       

CS: Restate topic sentence

Paragraph 4

Hook (the same as paragraph 1, or different)

Just like paragraph 1

Echo word (could be bell word): Shock

Comment on the hook: Overall shock

Comment on the hook: Why didn't Atticus tell any of the kids about his skill.

Re-statement, in slightly different words, of the thesis

(POLISHED)

                                                         Crying
                 An Essay about Why Jem Was Crying in To Kill a Mockingbird

        

                                                     Mr. Salsich

                                                     Crying Essay

                                                          David                                                                    
                                                       10/14/10

 
 One cries from many different things. As you grow up and become an adult, crying becomes more rare. I believe one should cry whenever they feel they need to. Crying releases lots of bad and good emotions, therefore making you feel much better.

(TS) Crying is a way of letting things out that your body just can't contain.  (SD) Whether you are crying happy tears or sad, crying in my eyes is always good. (CM) If you don't cry that means you are holding in all the emotions in your body. (CM) Someone that doesn't let his/her feelings go will soon break down with anger, and this is what I think happened to Jem at the end of chapter 7 in TKAM. (SD) When most people see someone crying, they're immediate reaction is to leave the person alone, but what you should do is try to comfort the person. (CM) I think that if you see someone crying you should go and make the person feel better, instead of just leaving them alone. (CM) Jem was crying not just because of recent activities, but most likely because he hadn't cried in a while, and needed to cry to make himself feel better. (CS) Crying isn't bad, crying is great, Jem felt the need to cry, so he did.

(TS) I feel that crying is a natural reaction to stress, sadness, happiness and love. (SD) Crying releases stress and emotion after a disappointing event, during a stressful period or when a person feels strong emotion, such as sorrow and joy.  (CM) Most humans cry involuntarily to release either happy or sad emotion from their body. (CM) Crying is natural because everyone cries sometime in their lifetime when they are upset or even when they are proud.  (SD) I have had a few experiences seeing people cry. (CM) One day my mom was having a hard time trying to keep me and my two sisters quite. (CM) After trying and not succeeding for a while she exploded, and couldn't hold her emotions in anymore. (CS) Everyone cries at one point in time, and there is no way to prevent it from happening to you.

              People cry because their emotions have nowhere else to go. Whether you are crying from sadness or happiness, crying is a good way to release your emotions. Although crying can sometimes be very unnecessary, it is mostly a great thing. I should cry more often, it would probably make me feel much better


Self assessment:


One thing i'm working on: One Major thing I am still working on is correctness. Sometimes my spelling and grammar really gets out of hand, and I hope I am getting better at it.


A strong point: A strong point in my essay is definitely my first body paragraph. I took lots of time to do it and i feel i did a great job. 


A week point:  One week point in my essay is my second commentary in my second paragraph. It seems to me that this sentence is a little confusing to me and must be to you.


Grade I deserve: I believe I deserve a B or B- on this essay. I think I put a lot of effort into it and think the grade should reflect a little bit. 

Feestyle Writing 10/12/10

As I sit here in Mrs. Seltzers room I daydream. I dream about cars, bikes, and all the fun things I absolutely love to do. Thinking about how much fun I will have when I get home, and then realizing I will be doing homework instead. Thinking about how much work I have to do on my race car, but not becoming worried because the season is now over. Thinking about the past season and all the things I have accomplished as a driver, and all the times I have let not just myself down but my whole crew. I sit here and dream about everything, everything except for the one thing I should be thinking about, school.

By: David Garbo Jr.

                                                         
                       Are the Children Invading Boo's Privacy (COMPLETE)
               An essay about one of To Kill a Mocking Birds main characters
                                                           

                                                David Garbo
                                                Mr. Salsich
                                                Essay#4

Fun writing, 10/5/10

A poem about racing.


                  Driving is like floating on a cloud.
                  Floating so smooth, and peacfully,
                  untill a storm occurs.
                  Fighting to stay alive, fighting,
                  trying not to get sucked in the storm.
                  driving is like floating,
                  floating on a stormy cloud,
                  and hopefully, you won't fall through.

By: David Garbo Jr.

Comparing Ms. Caroline and Aticus as Teachers, Now polished

David Garbo

English 8B

Mr. Salsich

9/29/10

                                                                     Comparing two Teachers:
                                                          An Essay about Comparing two Teachers.

Teaching to me seems like an art form. To make extremely smart and hard working students, the teacher must work hard. Scout's father Atticus, seems like one of those working teachers to me, a much harder worker than Miss Caroline.

 (TS) Scout’s father, Atticus, teaches much better than her first grade teacher, Miss Caroline. (SD) Miss Caroline is way too up tight and unrelaxed. (CM) In my opinion, a teacher makes the students feel comfortable during class, so the students don’t worry about being yelled at all the time. (CM) If Miss Caroline wasn’t so inflexible during class, her student Walter Cunningham, wouldn’t have said, “Ain’t no snot-nosed slut ever gunna make me do nothing.” (SD)Scout is only in 1st grade and already knows how to read better than anyone else in her class. (CM) This shows that Atticus does know what he’s doing much better than Miss Caroline when he reads to Scout every night. (CM) Miss Caroline insists on teaching Scout the basics of reading when Scout already knows how to read. Then she told Scout that Atticus is a bad teacher when she says, “Scout, I don’t want your father teaching you anymore.” (SD) Miss Caroline is just as tough on herself. (CM) She takes things too personally. (CM) One day after a bad class, Miss Caroline was very upset because Walter Cunningham said some mean things to her. He spoke while walking out the door,  “ He waited until he was sure she was crying then left.” (CM) A good teacher remains positive and in control at all times. (CM) You must be positive about your class to do well, and Miss Caroline definitely isn’t. (CS) It all comes down to being agreeable to your students so your students are nice to you.


Although Miss Caroline isn't a very good teacher it is great that she is trying hard. Pressure can really make a person crack, and in this case, Miss Caroline just couldn't take it anymore.




Self Assessment:

Something I'm working on: One thing I am still working on are comma splices. I don't believe i have any in this essay which is a big step forward for me. 
Strong point: A strong point in my essay I think is the last chunk. The last chunk gets the point across and gives a good reason why Ms. Caroline isn't an amazing teacher.
Weak Point: A weak point in my essay is definitely the beginning of my second chuck. In the beginning of this chunk it gets a little confusing.
Grade I deserve: I think I deserve a B- for this essay. This means it has its weak points but shows a lot of potential.

A Strange Person Final Essay

English 8B

David Garbo

9/23/10

Mr. Salsich

            Strange people are simply a part of the way we live. Every place in the world has at least 1 very strange person. In the following I will explain to you a strange person that has been around in my neighborhood for a long time, someone that I pretty much grew up with.

            (TS) When I think of a strange person I think of a homeless man named Spike that hangs out in downtown Mystic. (SD) One thing that is really odd about Spike is his posture. (CM) One reason why I think Spike's posture is odd is because his back curves like a hunchback. (CM) Even though Spike is about the same age as my dad, he appears to be much older because of the way he walks. (SD) Although Spike is homeless, his fashion sense is apparent. (CM) This is obvious because every time I see him he is wearing a lot of jewelry. (CM) Every once in a while Spike gathers up enough money to go into my mother's store to buy a charm or a bead for his bracelets. (SD) Spike obviously doesn't have anywhere to stay so he carries all his belongings in a bright orange backpack wherever he goes. (CM) Spike's backpack looks like it was rolled around in mud. (CM) Just like his backpack Spike also appears not to be very clean. (CS) Spike used to work with my mom at a print shop, so at one point Spike was an average "Joe" like everyone else.

            For me this essay was a great learning experience. Writing this essay intrigued me to try my absolute hardest in school, and never give up no matter what.

1. Issue I'm working on: One issue I'm working on is comma splices. I really need to pay attention and make sure there are no comma splices in my essays.

2. One strong point in my essay: One strong point in my essay i think was the introduction. I think the introduction explains very well what is going to happen in the essay.

3: A week point in my essay is the conclusion. The conclusion was very tough for me and I don't think I did a very good job on it.

4. I think a good grade for this essay is a C+. A C+ shows that I tried hard but I had my weak points.

"Bonfire" by Craig Morgan

David

English 8b

1st complete essay

                 When I think of summer, I think of music. Music is an excellent way to relax and enjoy the day ahead of you, or to enjoy the whole year ahead like I will be in the school year of 2011. Whether you are working hard all day, or partying, music is the best way to make your day interesting. For example, this summer I did a lot of construction work. To help me pass the time, I listened to a lot of music. The song that represents summer to me is "Bonfire" by Craig Morgan.
                     (TS) Going back to school was hard for me, because I was going to miss not having the freedom I had over the summer. (SD) In the song "Bonfire" by Craig Morgan, the lyrics say, "won't sleep till dawn gonna party right down to the wire, were all hangin at the bonfire." (CM) This reminds me a lot of the summer and how I hung with my friends and partied. (CM) This summer I also went to North Carolina for a big race; after the race. One hung out around a big bonfire which obviously relates to the song "Bonfire". (SD) Summer was fun while it lasted but now I have a challenge to look forward to in 8th grade. (CM) One big project I can look forward to is the assessment project, although it wont be very easy it will be a great challenge for me to tackle. (CM) I worry that 8th grade is going to be very hard for me because of the amount of homework and big projects, but I believe I will get through it okay. (SD) Every party I have gone to has had lots of event changes; this is what I think 8th grade is going to be like. (CM) School is tough and always has been, but school isn't a party it is for learning. (CM) Every new school year I go to I am always a little bit nervous, just like a party, you never know if you will meet anyone new that you will like. (CS) School isn't a party, but sometimes can be just as fun as one, hopefully this year I will have a blast!
                           Out of 500 of my songs, the song, “Bonfire” is one of the best examples of summer I could find. From hanging out around the bonfire with my friends to going to parties, this summer was a blast! All I can say now is, I can't wait till next year.

A Strange Person

English 8B

David Garbo

9/23/10

Mr. Salsich                                             

           

            (TS) When I think of a strange person I think of a homeless man named Spike that hangs out in downtown Mystic. (SD) One thing that is really odd about Spike is his posture. (CM) One reason why I think Spike's posture is odd is because his back curves like a hunchback. (CM) Even though Spike is about the same age as my dad, he appears to be much older because of the way he walks. (SD) Although Spike is homeless, his fashion sense is apparent. (CM) This is obvious because every time I see him he is wearing a lot of jewelry. (CM) Every once in a while Spike gathers up enough money to go into my mother's store to buy a charm or a bead for his bracelets. (SD) Spike obviously doesn't have anywhere to stay so he carries all his belongings in a bright orange backpack wherever he goes. (CM) Spike's backpack looks like it was rolled around in mud. (CM) Just like his backpack Spike also appears not to be very clean. (CS) Spike used to work with my mom at a print shop, so at one point Spike was an average "Joe" like everyone else.

What do I think the first page of a novel should do. (edited virsion)

 By: David Garborcauskas

            (TS) A novel's first page should reel the reader into the story by grabbing your attention immediately. (SD) An exciting event is always important in the beginning of a book. (CM) An event that is funny, scary or interesting will hook the reader right from the start. (CM) For example, (assonance) The first sentence of the Jungle Book, by Rudyard Kipling, "This is the our of pride and power, talon and tush and claw". After reading this sentence you will probably want to know what is going to happen next. (SD) I also think that the first page of a novel should introduce the main character in the story. (CM) I haven't read many books in my lifetime but the few that I have read seemed like they were being rushed and didn't explain what the story was going to be about before the story started. (CM) On the other hand, some of my favorite books have started off with an introduction of the main character and an exciting event, such as, the story Hatchet, by Gary Paulsen. The main character, Brian, a boy about my age, crashes in the Canadian wilderness after the plane plunges when the pilot has a heart attack.(Alliteration) (SD) The beginning pages of a novel should simply be the beginning of a great story. (CM) The first page should be a brief introduction telling the reader what and who the story is about. (CM) Grabbing the reader and making them feel like they are actually in the story is crucial, or the reader might put the book down! (CS) When I race my racecars at the local speedway, my dad always says to me that I can't win on the first lap, but I can lose. I think the same way about novel, the author can win on the first page but he/she can also lose.

What do I think the first page of a novel should do.

What do I think the first page of a novel should do.

            (TS) A novels first page should grab your attention to suck the reader into the story immediately. (SD) Starting off a book or an essay is always hard for me. (CM) One thing that I think is very important is something funny or interesting that will hook the reader right from the start. (CM) For example, (assonance) Sammy sprinkled his sprinkles all over his luscious lips. After reading this sentence you will probably want to know what is going to happen next. (SD) I also think that the first page of a novel should have a brief overview of the main characters that are in the story. (CM) I haven't read many books in my lifetime but the few that I have read seemed like they were being rushed and didn't explain what the story was going to be about before the story started. (CM) Some of my favorite books have started off with an introduction of the main character, such as, "Hello, my name is" and so fourth. (SD) The beginning pages of a novel should simply be the beginning of a great story. (CM) The first page should be a brief introduction telling the reader what and who the story is about. (CM) Grabbing the reader and making them feel like they are actually in the story is crucial, or the reader might put the book down! (CS) When I race my race cars at the local speedway my dad always says to me that I can't win on the first lap, but I can lose, I think the same way about novels except for the opposite, the author can win on the first page but he/she can also lose.

By: David Garborcauskas