David Garbo
English 8B
Mr. Salsich
9/29/10
Comparing two Teachers:
An Essay about Comparing two Teachers.
Teaching to me seems like an art form. To make extremely smart and hard working students, the teacher must work hard. Scout's father Atticus, seems like one of those working teachers to me, a much harder worker than Miss Caroline.
(TS) Scout’s father, Atticus, teaches much better than her first grade teacher, Miss Caroline. (SD) Miss Caroline is way too up tight and unrelaxed. (CM) In my opinion, a teacher makes the students feel comfortable during class, so the students don’t worry about being yelled at all the time. (CM) If Miss Caroline wasn’t so inflexible during class, her student Walter Cunningham, wouldn’t have said, “Ain’t no snot-nosed slut ever gunna make me do nothing.” (SD)Scout is only in 1st grade and already knows how to read better than anyone else in her class. (CM) This shows that Atticus does know what he’s doing much better than Miss Caroline when he reads to Scout every night. (CM) Miss Caroline insists on teaching Scout the basics of reading when Scout already knows how to read. Then she told Scout that Atticus is a bad teacher when she says, “Scout, I don’t want your father teaching you anymore.” (SD) Miss Caroline is just as tough on herself. (CM) She takes things too personally. (CM) One day after a bad class, Miss Caroline was very upset because Walter Cunningham said some mean things to her. He spoke while walking out the door, “ He waited until he was sure she was crying then left.” (CM) A good teacher remains positive and in control at all times. (CM) You must be positive about your class to do well, and Miss Caroline definitely isn’t. (CS) It all comes down to being agreeable to your students so your students are nice to you.
Although Miss Caroline isn't a very good teacher it is great that she is trying hard. Pressure can really make a person crack, and in this case, Miss Caroline just couldn't take it anymore.
Self Assessment:
Something I'm working on: One thing I am still working on are comma splices. I don't believe i have any in this essay which is a big step forward for me.
Strong point: A strong point in my essay I think is the last chunk. The last chunk gets the point across and gives a good reason why Ms. Caroline isn't an amazing teacher.
Weak Point: A weak point in my essay is definitely the beginning of my second chuck. In the beginning of this chunk it gets a little confusing.
Grade I deserve: I think I deserve a B- for this essay. This means it has its weak points but shows a lot of potential.
An Essay about Comparing two Teachers.
Teaching to me seems like an art form. To make extremely smart and hard working students, the teacher must work hard. Scout's father Atticus, seems like one of those working teachers to me, a much harder worker than Miss Caroline.
(TS) Scout’s father, Atticus, teaches much better than her first grade teacher, Miss Caroline. (SD) Miss Caroline is way too up tight and unrelaxed. (CM) In my opinion, a teacher makes the students feel comfortable during class, so the students don’t worry about being yelled at all the time. (CM) If Miss Caroline wasn’t so inflexible during class, her student Walter Cunningham, wouldn’t have said, “Ain’t no snot-nosed slut ever gunna make me do nothing.” (SD)Scout is only in 1st grade and already knows how to read better than anyone else in her class. (CM) This shows that Atticus does know what he’s doing much better than Miss Caroline when he reads to Scout every night. (CM) Miss Caroline insists on teaching Scout the basics of reading when Scout already knows how to read. Then she told Scout that Atticus is a bad teacher when she says, “Scout, I don’t want your father teaching you anymore.” (SD) Miss Caroline is just as tough on herself. (CM) She takes things too personally. (CM) One day after a bad class, Miss Caroline was very upset because Walter Cunningham said some mean things to her. He spoke while walking out the door, “ He waited until he was sure she was crying then left.” (CM) A good teacher remains positive and in control at all times. (CM) You must be positive about your class to do well, and Miss Caroline definitely isn’t. (CS) It all comes down to being agreeable to your students so your students are nice to you.
Although Miss Caroline isn't a very good teacher it is great that she is trying hard. Pressure can really make a person crack, and in this case, Miss Caroline just couldn't take it anymore.
Self Assessment:
Something I'm working on: One thing I am still working on are comma splices. I don't believe i have any in this essay which is a big step forward for me.
Strong point: A strong point in my essay I think is the last chunk. The last chunk gets the point across and gives a good reason why Ms. Caroline isn't an amazing teacher.
Weak Point: A weak point in my essay is definitely the beginning of my second chuck. In the beginning of this chunk it gets a little confusing.
Grade I deserve: I think I deserve a B- for this essay. This means it has its weak points but shows a lot of potential.
David,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your paragraph, I especially liked when you said, "It all comes down to being nice to your students so your students are nice to you", I believe this to be true. I liked how you incorporated this into your paragraph because it makes you think of how you treat your teachers and how you want to be treated by them. I suggest you change the structure in sentence eight to read, Ms. Caroline told Scout that Atticus is a bad teacher, "Scout I don't want your father teaching you anymore." Maybe you could give an example of why Ms. Caroline is too uptight. Great job!
Sincerely,
Ali
David this body paragraph is amazing I can really tell you put a lot of though into it. I really like your quotes from the TKAM, they were put in so well that it seemed like there were just supposed to be there. David you are a great writer and I feel that you will do very well this year.
ReplyDelete