Monday, October 25, 2010

David
Paragraph 1, Essay 6
Mr. Salsich – English


Surprised Atticus Could Shoot Essay
A Paragraph About the Children Being Surprised in To Kill A Mockingbird
           

           Everyone has a different opinion on expressing your talents. For example, Atticus is amazing with a rifle but doesn’t want to tell anyone. I believe you shouldn’t be cocky but always be proud of yourself.
             (TS) So many people have hidden talents that you have no clue about. (SD) Atticus surprises Scout and Jem when he shot the dog, Tim Johnson, in one shot because they had never seen him shoot before. (CM) The children thought that, " Atticus was different from other fathers, and all he did was read" because that's all they saw him ever do", and he wouldn't teach them how to shoot. (CM) Most fathers in the neighborhood fished and hunted, but not Atticus. That's why the kids were astonished to see Atticus shoot. (SD) Miss, Maudie drops the bombshell when she said, " I saw that One-Shot Finch", and as a result Jem and Scout learn that Atticus does more than just read.  (CM) Jem was tongue tied," and sat in numb confusion" while Miss Maudie told the children about Atticus's past experiences with shooting. (CM) They were astonished to hear that he was the best marksmen in Maycomb when he was growing up. (CS) This is why you never judge people by their looks, they might be more impressive than you think. 
            (TS) Growing up one of the only things I thought my dad could do was work. (SD) As a kid my dad told me he had always had a horse. (CM) During his childhood one of the first video recorders was just invented. (CM) When I saw a video on the computer of him riding around on a horse I was blown away. (SD) When my dad was growing up he didn’t have enough money to take horseback riding lessons. (CM) He told me he learned by trial and error. (CM) My dad definitely wasn’t the kind of person to ride a horse, but he told me he had a lot of fun doing it. 
           Atticus is definitely humble about his skill with a rifle. Maybe there is a reason why Atticus doesn’t want anyone to know about his skill. When the kids found out about his skill, they were definitely astonished.

2 comments:

  1. David, I really liked your (TS) it really hooks the reader into reading your paragraph. Your first (SD) didn't make much sense to me, I think you should have said "he shot the MAD dog" instead of saying he sot a dog because the reader wont know what dog. Also in that same sentience you added Tim Jonson and I'm not sure why.

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  2. David,
    I really enjoyed your essay.I especially liked the second (SM)when you said Miss Maudie "drops the bombshell when she said,"I saw that One-Shot Finch""because it caught my attention.I would suggest you check your sentence structure for your first (CM). I suggest you check your punctuation for that sentence which will make your writing smoother.For example:I would change the period after the word read to a comma and continue the sentence. I think your essay is going to be great with a few changes!Good Job!

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